Top Five

Presenting the Top Five Most Ineffectual Houseguests

These are houseguests who, in my opinion, were nothing more than dead weight. Not counting those who were voted off in the first couple of weeks, these men and women had no right to get as far as they did in the game.

#5: I love season 5's Marvin the Mortician, but for all his attitude he severely lacked game savvy. Remember the Santa Monica Van Boys? I wasn't sure what that was, but I knew it wasn't going to get him further than the final five.

#4: The Southern chain-smoker lovingly known as Busto wound up in the final four without so much as lifting a finger. Granted she could gossip and badmouth with the best of them, but I have no affection for April...and her little dog too!

#3: There was no need to strategize in BB season 1, so Chicken George was in over his head when the All Star season began. Sadly, the man who has been struck by lightening more than once never seemed to catch on as the summer progressed. The vacant look in his eyes as Dr. Will and the rest were scheming spoke volumes.

#2: Robert, season 4's potty-mouthed goon, was wise enough to align with fellow exes Jee and Justin. Once they were gone Robert was like a lost little boy in the woods, and predatory wolves Alison and Jun couldn't wait to chew him up and spit him out.

#1: There's only one person who deserves the title of most ineffectual BB houseguests. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Cowboy. The man could barely form a sentence let alone a strategy. He, like others on this list, only made it to the final weeks because he posed absolutely no threat. Thankfully the jury had enough sense to give Drew their final votes. Had Cowboy won season 5 there's no way I'd have stuck around for this summer's BB 8.

This is my top 5, what are your thoughts?

The Turning Point of Season Six

Occasionally on “House Calls,” the online BB talk show, the hosts take time to ponder the pivotal moments that entirely change the direction of the game. Sure, alliances are made and broken countless times each hour, but hindsight allows us to recognize some strategic decisions that really matter.

Some would contend that the reveal of season five’s Twin Twist qualifies as an earthshaking occurrence. Others may say the reintroduction of Amy altered season 3 irrefutably. But to me, one event rises above the rest as a moment that changed the game.

Recall week 6 of season 6. Despite unparalleled incompetence, Howie won the HoH competition and it appeared as though the "Nerd Herd” were in his scopes. This was a much-needed victory for Janelle, James, and company, who had lost their beloved leader Kaysar only hours before.

But the joy was short-lived, as Howie took buffoonery to new heights. Left without the buffer of his alliance-mates, he quickly buckled to Maggie’s requests, promising to protect not only her, but the entire Friendship alliance.

Rachel, Howie’s secret pre-show partner, said it best when she called Howie a moron. The HoH should call the shots, not take orders.

Yes, Howie had good reason to question the loyalty of James, but by nominating James and Sarah he alienated the only people he could (reasonably) depend on. Sadly, Sarah went home way to prematurely (setting off a fire in James that was a force to be reckoned with.)

Most tragic, however, is that this massive blunder didn’t provide any karmic comeuppance; Howie’s pitiful performance at competitions and lack of strategic decision-making caused him to be viewed as a non-threat and he was allowed to linger in the BB house until the final five.

But, think about how differently things could have ended had he nominated differently. Sure, Sarah wasn’t much of a gamer, but she was a number, and Big Brother is a numbers game. Had a member of the Herd gone home instead, it would have been five Sovereign versus five Friendship. Not great odds, but at least equal footing. Once Kaysar was resurrected a week later, they would have definitely had the numbers advantage, and the final three would have looked a lot different.

Oh well. There’s no need to continue at length about Howie’s ineptitude, that is well documented (remember 'Big Boy'?). But there's no disputing that Howie turning against his team, is a moment that changed the game.

Photo courtesy of CBS.com

Welcome to Big Brother Summer

Hello and welcome. Big Brother Summer will soon become your go-to site for all things Big Brother 8. Now that the days of Chilltown and King Kaysar are (thankfully) behind us, we can look forward to a glorious summer of HoH competitions, nomination ceremonies, and 24/7 scheming. (Not to mention the malfunctioning buzzers, lingering shower footage, and stilted Julie Chen dialog that make BB so classy and cutting-edge.)

But first, a bit about myself. A BB fan from the beginning (yes, including the abysmally boring first season), I've spent the last few summers captivated by the nonstop chicanery of the houseguests. I have my favorites (Danielle), and least favorites (pretty much the entire cast of season 4), and I look forward to sharing my many opinions (including rants and non sequitors) with you.

Of course I want to hear your reactions and input too -- assuming, of course, that your views coincide with mine. If you adore season 6's "Friendship" or think Jase's "mandanas" are fashion-forward, we may not become BFFs.

That's it for now, I look forward to July so we can get this blog going. Thanks for stopping by; this mightn't be the most advanced Big Brother fansite on the web, but I promise it'll be the snarkiest.